American Horror Story Hotel 5.12 Review: Be Our Guest

At the end of last week's superb episode, 'Battle Royale, I wondered whether or not American Horror Story Hotel and any further story to tell. Unfortunately, 'Be Our Guest', made it abundantly clear it did not.

Iris and Liz (the only two left living), were desperately attempting to re-vamp the hotel to get more clients but those pesky ghosts kept murdering all their guests, particularly Sally and Will for some reason. Neither were willing to stop killing, wither, until March stepped in and told them all they needed to do was to ensure that the Hotel Cortez was still standing by 2026 (100 years after being built) so that it could qualify to be a world heritage sight, ensuring that they all lived forever. But first they had to convince them to stop murdering people. Cue twenty minutes wasted on two characters I didn't care about getting happy endings. Sally fell in love with the inter webs and became a social media star somehow, and Will entrusted Liz to be the spokesperson for his fashion label outside of the Cortez. And I guess that meant they were back to having avant-garde runway shows while a cover version of 'Nights in White Satin' was playing, so yay?

Despite all their success Liz was still down about Tristan not turning up to have ghost sex with him after dying so Iris hired Billie Dean Howard (a television psychic) to communicate with him. Tristan didn't want to talk though, but Billie got in touch with Donovan instead who said that his heaven was Iris' pancakes. Cue Iris' happy ending. After being apart of the joy that is cutting the umbilical cord of your granddaughter, Liz announced to all her ghost pals at the Cortez some time later that she was ding from prostate cancer (now that was funny!) and wanted them to kill her so that she could eternally live in the hotel with her 'family'. It was all very touching, especially when The Countess, who no one had seen in years, showed up to kindly do the honours and kill her. With her corpse barely cold, Tristan showed up to welcome her to the afterlife. Cue Liz's happy ending.

Billie Dean's involvement in the hotel however, with her three television specials, have started to bring unwanted guests to the hotel (these ghosts are so picky!) so on one Devil's Night John tells Iris to invite Billie to speak with him as he has been of interest to her for sometime. John explains to her what happened to him and his family after the end of his Ten Commandments killings, explaining that he Alex and Holden moved into the hotel while Scarlett went away to boarding school (with Will's son no less), until John was shot dead by the police one day outside of the hotel. John brings Billie as a party favour to Devil's night where him, March, and the other serial killers tell her to never mention the Cortez to anyone ver again or she would be tracked down and killed by Romana. Later that night, an adult Scarlett comes and visits her undead family as they sleep. Cue a happy ending for the Lowe's!

March described the Ten Commandment killings as an epilogue to his years of murder early in the episode, and much like that storyline, Hotel's final episode ultimately came across as hazardous, and ultimately unnecessary. Did these specific characters need such final (happy, nonetheless) moments in audiences eyes? I think if I ever re-watch the series I'll think as last week as the finale.

Rating: 2.5/5

American Horror Story 3.13 Review: The Seven Wonders

American Horror Story: Coven concluded its season this week with the witches of said coven undertaking trails, or 'The Seven Wonders', in order to determine their new Supreme, and the tension between each of the candidates, as well as the allure of the successor's reveal made for an entertaining first half of the episode.

The girls first had to use their telepathy to move candlesticks, and then coercion to manipulate one another, and there was plenty of bitchiness and snark to go around, particularly between Madison and Zoe. Then the girls had to undertaken descensum, having their soul travel to hell and then return. Queenie returned from her personal hell first, having already visited herself behind the counter at PLACE with a line of customers as far as the eye can see in last week's episode 'Go To Hell'. She was soon followed by Madison, who had to endure playing a supporting role in a live network production of a musical, and Zoe, who had to endure Kyle breaking up with her over and over again. Their hell experiences were played for laughs, but I would have preferred a much more in-depth and abstract exploration in which we got to see each witch have to fight their way through their personal hells to return to their bodies. Misty's personal hell was a perfect encapsulation of her character, having revived a toad, and then being forced to kill the live reptile over and over again by a biology teacher. It was a poignant end for such an uplifting character, but her innocence and squirminess was also a significant reason why she would never make a good Supreme, and thus, Misty day died, unable to return from hell.

Cordelia was surprisingly anguished at her demise, considering she was the newest addition to the coven, and therefore the witch she knew the least. The others, however, were eager to continue with the wonders and were soon participating is a lively game of transmutation tag throughout the grounds of the academy, despite the calls of Cordelia and Myrtle for caution. For good reason too, for seconds later Zoe accidentally transmutated back into reality and impaled herself on the gates of the academy, which at least provided the opportunity for the remaining two witches, Madison and Queenie, to perform vitalis vitalum and bring Zoe back to life. Unfortunately Queenie was unable to revive her, and Madison, unwilling to revive Zoe back into the running to be the Supreme, revived a fly to prove her worth, and crowned herself the new Supreme of the coven. Cordelia and Myrtle was smart enough to know that Madison would serve about a good a Supreme as Fiona never did, but the notion it took them to get into such a dire situation until the considered Cordelia to be a possible candidate for the title was overdue.

Nonetheless, Cordelia quickly got to work undertaking the trails, and soon enough not only had she caught up with Madison, but had successfully demonstrated her skills in divination, a task that Madison was unable to perform. And Madison was very annoyed about this, promptly decided she was done with the coven and threatened to reveal them to the world. Cordelia and the others seemed non-plussed at yet another one of Madison's bitchy outbursts, and proceeded with the trails by reviving Zoe. Kyle, however, was not too happy about Madison leaving Zoe to die before this point, and strangled her before she had a chance to pack her bags and leave the academy. Considering the amount of power she seemed to have earlier in this episode, death by zombie strangulation seems unrealistic, but then again, what doesn't in American Horror Story? Madison definitely got what she deserved, but I found her death underwhelming, and Spalding's sudden reappearance to help Kyle hide the body was just unnecessary and confusing. Madison's death did provide a nice juxtaposition with Zoe's revival and Cordelia subsequent completion of the Seven Wonders, looking as radiant and refreshed as ever (including a new set of eyes), having become the new Supreme. Good on her, she was definitely the character most deserving of the title, having lost the most for the coven throughout this season.

Unfortunately the episode lost much of its allure once the Seven Wonders were completed and the rest of the episode served as an overly-long and tedious epilogue to the series. Apparently Madison's idea to reveal witches to the world wasn't such a bad one in Cordelia's eyes since she held a television interview in the academy announcing the existence of witches to the world and asking any girls possessing powers to come and see them. This didn't make a whole lot of sense, but I guess the series was trying to demonstrate that after the destruction of the witch hunters, the voodoo witches, and the witches among the coven that posed a threat, that they had nothing left to die from. Myrtle's sudden desire to be burned at the stake (again) for the murders of her fellow witches also made zero sense, since her actions, although against the rules of the coven, indirectly led to it being saved. But Myrtle's theory was out with the old and in with the new, so back to the stake she went.

Speaking of people coming back from the dead only to die again (was this really not the major theme of this season?), back at the academy Fiona, who was thought dead at the hands of the Axeman, revealed herself to Cordelia. Fiona told Cordelia about her ploy to let the coven think she was dead by implanting a false memory in the Axeman, letting the coven kill him, and then returning once the new Supreme had risen so that Fiona could finally kill them and stay alive. Cordelia proposed that it would be difficult to kill her daughter, but I think the only reason Fiona couldn't do it is because she had just grown too weak. I wasn't really emotionally invested in Fiona's passing or her heart to heart with Cordelia, their relationship has felt very one-note and underdeveloped all season, so there was no reason I would suddenly buy into it now. But that being said, Fiona's hell was on par with the excellence of Misty's; forced to endure an eternity of being the housewife of the Axeman, a perfect vision of the life she promised to him that they'd build together.

For a series and a season that thrives on the allure of the unexpected and crazy, American Horror Story produced a rather conventional, and rather happy, ending, and could have benefited from a little more of the bizarre nature of the shown viewers have grown accustom to.

Rating: 3/5

Californication 6.12 Review: I'll Lay My Monsters Down

Hank is torn over whether or not he should go on tour with Faith and Atticus, or stay in California and try and reunite with Karen. He arrives at Marcy's where she is showing off her wedding dress to Karen, and asks Karen's opinion on whether or not he should go. Understandably she tells him that they're no longer a part of each others lives and for Hank to consider her in his plans is redundant. Marcy is sad that they haven't reunited, explaining to them that her time in California has being one long mid-crisis but that she's tired of being unhappy all the time which is why her and Charlie are getting back together. On Atticus's plane, Atticus convinces Hank that if the two of them finish he musical on the tour hopefully the two of them will find love. Atticus's concert is undoubtedly crass, as we all knew it would, including a song called 'Right Between The Thighs'. He marries Charlie and Marcy on stage, and asks anyone else if they would like to get married. Hank proposes to Karen but she just smiles at him before Atticus asks everyone to leave the stage. I would say this is the smartest decision Katen has ever made in regards to her relationship with Hank, but the result remains to be seen until next season. Hank leaves with Atticus and Faith because of Karen's rejection, but while asleep on the tour bus he realises he has to go back for her. Faith is sad that Hank is leaving, but completely understands, as does Atticus. Crow drives Hank back to Karen's and the episode ends with him knocking on her door. A pretty uneventful episode for a season final, but it successfully wrapped by Atticus's and Faith's story lines while most obviously preparing for next season.

Rating: 3/5

The Walking Dead 3.16 Review: Welcome To The Tombs

After Rick's decision not to give Michonne to The Governor, as well as Merle's suicide mission to stop The Governor himself, Rick and the others found themselves preparing to finally face him, seemingly packing up the prison in an attempt to escape. At Woodbury The Governor tortures Milton for burning the pit of walkers and betraying him, and tells him to kill Andrea. He tries to kill The Governor instead but he is stabbed, and The Governor leaves Milton to die there so he will return as a walker and kill Andrea. The Governor and his troops leave Woodbury to attack the prison, but Tyresse and Sasha stay behind to guard the woman and children that cannot fight. The Governor and his men storm the prison, destroying many gates and blowing up several guard towers with their machine guns. They scour the prison for Rick and the others, and it looks as though they have left until, once The Governor has lead his men into the depths of the prison a group of zombies is strategically released upon them. Majority of the Governor's men panic and flee, forcing them all to retreat, and as they leave the prison, Rick and the others shoot at them. In the aftermath of his defeat The Governor chases down his deserters and brutally massacres them all, except Karen who hides under one of the fallen men's body's. Rick decides that they must chase after The Governor before he attacks again and he Daryl and Michonne follow him back to Woodbury. On their way they come across the massacre and Karen informs them what has happened. Upon arriving at Woodbury Karen explains to Tyresse and Sasha what The Governor has done, and he lets Rick and the others in, who now know Andrea didn't make it make to the prison. They find her in the interrogation room, she managed to kill Milton when he came back as a walker, but not before being bitten badly on the neck. She asks Rick to let her shoot herself before she turns and he obliges. Rick and the others then return to the prison, having bought Tyresse, Sasha, Karen and the the other surviving members of Woddbury back with them.

Rating: 3.5/5

Homeland 2.12 Review: The Choice

One of Homeland’s greatest strengths for me as a viewer has been its ability to make the relationship between its two leads ambiguous. Are they really in love with each? Or is one (or both) of them playing on the emotions of the other for the sake of their job? ‘The Choice’ removed this uncertainty and presented Carrie and Brody as two people deeply in love with each other, and while Danes and Lewis have continuously proved their great acting skills, Carrie and Brody in the throes of a new romance does not make for interesting viewing. In fact, watching the pair of them return to the cabin in which their elicit relationship first begun was rather painful to watch. There was juggling of potatoes, deep and meaningful conversations about absentee mothers, deep and meaningful conversations about their future as a couple, sex, and croissants, all in that order. Thank god Quinn was hovering in the background ready to kill Brody on Estes orders the second he was alone, just to keep thinks interesting.

Or not. Quinn approached Estes in his home and made it clear that he only kills the bad guy, and that Brody’s involvement with the CIA finally allowed them to kill Nazir, therefore Brody’s deal with the CIA should be honoured. As a character Quinn was a great addition to Homeland this season, although his sudden display of strong morals and affection for Carrie’s wellbeing seemed uncharacteristic, him threatening Estes was entertaining nonetheless.

Brody not being killed by Quinn allowed him to start moving on from his past and into a possible future with Carrie. He made Mike buy him a beer, thanked him, and basically told him now they that were divorcing that he could have Jessica (not a bad trade, if you ask me). Jessica too was trying her best to make headway in moving on, but the way in which she unceremoniously removed all of Brody’s clothes from their room, and made certain that he came to get his suit for Walden’s memorial while she wasn’t there makes it clear there’s still some animosity towards him. Dana walking in on her father changing was a superb call back to the season one final, although Brody’s decision to tell her that he had planned to detonate a suicide bomb seemed unrealistic, although perhaps it was representative of Brody’s continued attempts to move on. He no longer needs to lie because that part of his is now over and he has no purpose in continuing to hide it.

Estes, having hidden Saul in the CIA for three days, had no reason to hide him any further either, with Brody’s assassination cancelled. Once free he and Carrie, who had some decision making of her own to do in regards to her future with Brody, had a talk in the best scene of the episode. Saul told her she was in line to be the youngest station chief in the history of the agency, to which her response is understandably conflicted. Saul gives her the harsh truth: she can do whatever she wants, but an intelligence officer for the CIA can’t, and that she’ll be throwing her life away for a terrorist if she stays with Brody (which seems quite the contradictory thing for him to say considering he just spent three days locked away for his attempts at trying to stop Brody’s assassination, but the scene was gripping regardless).

Saul headed off to oversee Nazir’s sea burial, and Carrie and Brody attended the beginning of Walden’s memorial before sneaking off to Saul’s office where Carrie told Brody she had made her decision to be with him, before Brody noticed someone had moved his car. Before Carrie could say ‘Fuck!’, an explosion ripped through Langley incinerating Walden’s memorial service and knocking Carrie and Brody over. Homeland’s suspension of disbelief has come under heavy scrutiny recently, and I’ve no doubt that the occurrence of a major explosion within a CIA facility will garner a similar response, but I much prefer a Homeland that takes risks and throws everything into question in the second half of ‘The Choice’ over the incredibly tedious first half.

That being said, the explosion is the catalyst that will see Homeland into its third season, and if the questions and atmosphere of the second half of ‘The Choice’ is anything to go by, I’m extremely hesitant as to where the show is headed. The decision to once again place Brody as a prime suspect for the attack just seems exhausted, Carrie’s instantaneous response to blame him, while tense, is something we’ve all seen before. He tells Carrie that this could have been Nazir’s plan all along, that he orchestrated his Walden’s deaths in a master plan for revenge. And once again, Carrie’s easily convinced, and the pair leave Langley, Carrie provides him with money and a fake passport, before the star-crossed lovers say goodbye at the border, Carrie telling him she’ll clear the name of the presumed terrorist.

The problem with Homeland is that the presentation of a character or storyline is never clear cut, audiences think they’ve figured out who a character is or what has been happening, but the way in which Homeland continues aims to ensure us that you can never be certain, which leads to increasingly frustrating viewing. Regardless as to whether Brody, Nazir, the long talked about CIA mole, or even Saul or Quinn (yes, there has been heavy discussion online that even these two characters could have blown up Langley, such is the elusiveness of Homeland), is culpable, what’s certain is that Homeland will continue to entertain audiences next season, albeit in a very confusing way.

Rating: 3.5/5

30 Rock Season 6 Final Recap & Review (6.22: What Will Happen to the Gang Next Year?)

Criss is desperate to be able to help out Liz financially so that they could think about 'having a plant' together, so he plans to take his hot dog van, named Van Der Beek, to an event in Queens.

At work, Hazel asks Liz if she can crash with her for a year or two now that she's moved out Rosmond's place. Liz tells her that they need to have boundaries, while Jenna taunts Hazel for her failures.

Jack asks Liz to officiate his and Avery's vow renewal, and while Liz thinks its a sign of deeper martial problem, she agrees. Avery arrives at Jack's office, with her mother Diane, much to Liz's surprise leading to a very tense and awkward situation.

Tracy is named man of the year by the Journal of the Aryan Patriot Party, and becomes concerned that he is not a good role model for African Americans.

During an interview Avery and Scott Scotsman do for NBC, Jack notices both of them tapping their fingers. He quickly returns to his office and watches tapes of the pair of them when they were forced to present the news in Korea. He discovers the pair of them used a secret code to communicate with one another, and possibly had an affair.

Kenneth goes to cry in the stairwell when he receives a letter that he hasn't been accepted back into the NBC page program, but he finds Hazel sitting there. Hazel tells him to stop complaining, because he could have no place to live like her. Kenneth then tells Hazel that she is staying with him.

When Avery returns to Jack's office he reveals he knows the code her and Scott share. She tells him her and Scott have never had a psychical relationship, unlike Jack and Diane. Jack tells Avery she was supposed to have forgiven him for that, and the pair angrily agree that that they problems but that they are going to get through them because they are Jack and Avery and they don't give up.

Jenna overhears that Kenneth and Hazel are now roommates, and Jenna warns tells to leave Kenneth out of their feud, to which Hazel replies that she's already taken care of Kenneth.

Before Jack and Avery's ceremony Liz becomes increasingly concerned about the wedding when both Diane and Scott ask Liz if she plans to say the part 'speak now or forever hold your peace', both expressing that they plan to stop the union. Liz's expresses her worries to Jack and Avery, but they are too preoccupied with not quitting that they ignore her.

Jenna reveals to Kenneth that she went down to Human Resources and discovered that Hazel sabotaged his application to reapply to the page program in order to remove him as a possible threat.

Liz overhears a news report about a bank robbery, and Criss's van is shown as the getaway vehicle. Distressed, she runs from the reception.

At the civil rights museum, Tracy is trying to find inspirational American Americans to look up to. Despite failing to do so, he states he will start his own movie studio, in which everything produced, written, directed and seen will be done so exclusively by African Americans.

Liz runs into Criss outside Rockefeller Plaza and tells him she'll go to prison for the robbery, he tells her that he sold his van that morning in order to get money to pay for their upstairs renovation, and now they both know neither is going to try and bail from the relationship.

During the ceremony Liz states 'speak now or forever hold your peace', but a drunk Diane has fallen asleep, and Scott is sitting next to his fiance before he was kidnapped in Korea, no neither of them say anything. Liz is pleased, but Jack and Avery interrupt her, saying they can't believe no one is going to stop them renewing their vows when there's so much to object to. They reveal they only got married because Avery was pregnant with Liddy, and decide that because they both hate to quit they were hoping someone else would ruin their wedding for them. They ask Liz to divorce them, and she does so.

At his apartment Kenneth confronts Hazel. She tells him it started off as sabotage, but turned into love. He asks her how he can believe her, and they start making out.

As Criss starts work on the renovation, Jack arrives at Liz's apartment with a gift for her for officiating the divorce: the remote control holder she wanted from Sky Maul. She asks for his advice on planning to have a baby with Criss, to which he replies he has no right to give her any because of the state his own life is in. She's asks for it anyway, and he tells her she'll be a good writer.

All of the storylines were strong this episode, but because they were so plot driven it left little time for funny character moments and went more for sentimentality. I liked the way Jack and Avery's relationship ended, both too stubborn to admit that it was a mistake. I'm indifferent towards Criss's character, but it's nice to see Liz happy, but it'll be interesting to see where their relationship goes from here. Ironically, it's Tracy's and Kenneth's storylines that I'm most looking forward to next season. Tracy had little to do this episode, but the announcement that he plans to make his own production company sets up a long, and likely hilarious arc for next season. The same can be said of Kenneth's unexpected relationship with Hazel. While it took me a long while to begin to like Hazel, her obsession with Liz, and now her feud with Jenna have great comedic potential. My problem with Kenneth is that he's been the same character for so long, so seeing him out of his comfort zone and in a relationship will hopefully bring out some funny moments next season.

Quote of the episode:

Hazel - ‘My living situation’s been a little in flux. Obviously I can’t go to a homeless shelter, I mean the people there can be a little too sexually conservative for my taste.’

Rating: 3.5/5

How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Final Recap & Review (7.23/7.24: The Magician's Code Part 1 & 2)

As Lily goes into labour Robin and Ted arriving, attempting to calm her down, as Ted yells don't panic. She is stressing out that Marshall is not there, and Ted and Robin both have peculiar ways in which to try and sooth Lily. Robin, offers her sugar cubes, and Ted unveils his kick-ass labour announcement video e-mail. Lily says all she needs is a distraction, and they proceed to tell her short stories of memories they've shared.

In Atlantic City, Barney and Marshall are stranded at a casino. They are unable to get a taxi to the train station because of the big event their that weekend, and the valet long is four hours long. Barney comes up with a plan to win a motorcycle and drive out of there. When the plans fails, he takes the motorcycle and just to ride out of the casino anyway before been caught by security. Left alone, a drunk Marshall has a hilarious journey trying to claim two steps and has a fight with an ATM machine. Barney returns and they find a buss heading back to New York with two spares seats. Unfortunately the bus is going to Buffalo and the driver refuses to stop unless there is an emergency.
While i was a little annoyed that Marshall got to the hospital, I loved how all the old people on the bus claimed they were having heart-attacks in order for Marshall to stop at the hospital.

Marshall arrives in time for the birth of Marvin Waitforit Erickson.

It the waiting room, the stories Ted and Robin have shared will Lily have brought them closer together than they've been in a long time and they agree to stop avoiding each other and be friends.

Was it really appropriate for Ted, Robin and Barney to make jokes about Marvin's name so soon after the birth? Yes, everything they said was true, but have some tact guys.

Ted starts getting clucky and tells Robin he wants a family, to which she candidly responds that while Ted says he's always looking for 'The One', he constantly chases women who are unable to fulfil his family dreams. Robin suggests he calls Victoria, the only woman he's dated who could have been 'The One'.

Barney returns home to Quinn, uncertain of what he will find. She's still their, although she's had his apartment redecorated. It is now pink and contains numerous large plush Hello Kitty toys and lots and lots of flowers. Barney doesn't care, and thanks god that she is still there.

Back at the apartment Ted tells the others he meet a girl on the train and he doesn't know what to text her. Lily and Marshall, now responsible for another human being, tell Ted he can't always come to them with his minute problems. Robin scolds Ted for not trying to see what Victoria is doing. Later he calls her, and she agrees to meet him at MacLarens.

Meanwhile, Barney and Quinn are off to Hawaii for their first getaway as a couple. They are stopped at security and they ask Barney to open his luggage. Inside is a mysterious box. The officers ask Barney to open it, but he says he can't because it's a magic trick and he can;t break the magicians code. Oh god... Quinn asks him why he was taking a magic trick on their romantic holiday and he tells her he was planning to shot up to Honolulu for the world wide magic convention.

At MacLarens Victoria arrives in a wedding dress. She tells him that she had previously thought about leaving her fiance Klaus for Ted, if it wasn't for Robin. Ted tells her that she has moved out and that their relationship is over. Victoria says she got a car, and is willing to drive off into the sunset with him, if he hasn't closed the door on their relationship.

Back at the airport, Barney agrees to tell the magic trick to one of the officer's because he is a magician. The officer is impressed, but when Barney magics his way out of a pair of handcuffs that have been placed on him, another officer tases him.

Ted calls Robin when Victoria goes to the bathroom, and Robin, Lily and Marshall meet him at the bar to help him decide what to do. Robin tells him to go for it, but Lily is concerned that Victoria might just be having pre-wedding jitters and will regret her decision later on. They flee when Victoria comes out of the bathroom, and Ted agrees to go with her.

In a holding room at the airport an officer comes to take Barney and Quinn's details. Quinn tells him she is unemployed, revealing to Barney that she quit her job as a stripper for him, and asks him because of what she's done for him if he could please show the officer the magic trick. He refuses.

In the car with Victoria, Ted tells her he's taking her back to her wedding. He tells her that while be would be willing to get back together, that he's been left at the altar before, and that the right thing to do is for her to go to her wedding.

The officer tells Quinn she is free to go, and she almost does, but Barney agrees to show them the trick. After a silly an elaborate performance, the trick produces an engagement ring, and Quinn agrees to marry him.

Barney and Quinn arrive at Lily and Marshall's to reveal their engagement. Robin tells Barney she's really happy for him.

Meanwhile, Ted passes by the church Victoria is meant to be having her wedding at, and they drive into the sunset.

A little while down the road, as the subtitle states, Ted as one of Barney's groomsmen, goes to meet with the bride before the wedding, Robin.


Quote of the episode:

Quinn - 'I hired a decorator and I asked him: what would the inside of Tinkerbell's vagina look like? And the kid just ran with it.'


Rating: 2.5/5

Game of Thrones Season 2 Final Recap & Review (2.10: Valar Morghulis)

At King's Landing, Tyrion awakes heavily bandaged, and Maester Pycelle informs him that he is no longer the hand of the king. Poor Tyrion, it must be so difficult for him to be a part of the family he is in. Despite this, when Shae suggests they travel to Pentos where they could be safe, an candid Tyrion tells her how he loves to thwart his family's plans. I wouldn't have it any other way Tyrion, but please be careful.

Tyrion's not the only one deserving of sympathy however. Joffrey rewards those who served him well in the battle, he makes his grandfather, Tywin Lannisater, his Hand, and gives Petyr Baelish the castle of Harrenhal for facilitating the alliance between the Houses of Lannister and Tyrell. Loras Tyrell asks Joffrey to marry his sister, Margaery, in order to solidify the relationship between the Houses. Joffrey, however, is betrothed to Sansa. Cersei convinces him that this union can be broken, however, because of the Stark's betrayal, and Joffrey then agrees to marry Margaery. Sansa is momentarily delighted that she must no longer be married to Joffrey, but Littlefinger reminds her that now Joffrey has no further plans to wed her, that she cannot go home, and she will have to remain at King's Landing under Joffrey's rule.

While last weeks enormous battle was good, this is what Game of Thrones does best. What makes the show so enjoyable is the game itself, of tactics, betrayals, alliances, and sacrifices, mostly portrayed through passive-aggressive discussions and snide comments. This is what the Game of Thrones is, and it is oh so good when done right. The King's Landing storylines are the best in the show, and with plenty of dynamic changes; Tywin as the new hand, Margaery as Joffrey's new betrothed, I very much look forward as to what will happen next.
Back at Dragonstone island (that was an unusually fast and successful retreat), Stannis confronts Melisandre about his defeat at King's Landing, when her and her Lord of Light promised him victory. She tells him it was a small loss in a much grander battle, but he proceeds to strangle her. She manages to tell him that her god is inside him, referring to the ghostly creature they created to kill Renly, and he releases her. She tells him he will be King, but still sceptical, Melisandre lures him to look deep into a fire, in which he seems to become mesmerised by visions of his future.

It would have been interesting to see what Stannis saw to convince him of his futuer success, but alas, all we get is Melisandre word. Stannis will obviously have to start another army if he's to be a contender for the thrown, but just how much help will be be receiving from Melisnadre and her mysterious and vengeful Lord of Light?

Meanwhile in the Riverlands Robb decides to break his promised vow to marry a daughter of the House Frey, by marrying Talisa, a woman he has known for five episodes, against Catelyn's wishes. I wouldn't be listening to Catelyn either, bet really Robb? Oh well, at least this sets up the possibility for another House to enter the brawl that is the Game of Thrones. I can't imagine that Walder Frey will take too lightly to Robb breaking his oath, especially after he gave them that bridge and all. At least Robb and his army now have the possibility of an enticing storyline, instead of sitting around all season.

While I very much enjoy the characters of Brienne and Jamie, their trip to King's Landing is taking an awfully long time, and there's only so much awkward banter I can take between them. Here's hoping they'll arrive at their destination soon, and that we can finally see all the Lannisters under one dysfunctional roof. And I can't wait to see what Brienne will get up to there.

At Winterfell, Theon's short rule came to an abrupt end. Surrounded by a northern army under command of Roose Bolton's bastard son; sent by Robb, Theon is left with few options. Maester Luwin suggests he joins the Night's Watch to redeem himself, but Theon realises he is too far gone, and that the only way to protect his honour is to lead the twenty men as has into battle. Theon presents a rousing speech to his men, before one of the, Dagmer, knocks him unconscious, with the intention of handing him over to the Northmen in exchange for their lives. Maester Luwin tries to intervene, and Dagmer stabs him with a spear. Later, Bran, Rickon, Osha and Hodor emerge from their hiding place in Winterfell's crypts and find the castle burnt to the ground. In the godswood they find Maester Luwin dying. He tells them that they must go north to the Wall, as there are too many enemies in the south, and that once there Jon will be able to keep them safe and tell their mother of their survival.

I loved watching Theon's disintegration this season, the lengths in which he went to please his family, and to betray the Starks, showed a truly desperate and conflicted character, and I can't imagine next season as anything too promising in store for him when he is reunited with Robb. On the other hand, it seems were are going to have another several characters travelling in Bran, Rickon, Osha and Hodor, and I can't see there journey to the Wall being at all exciting, and then once they get then and find no Jon...

Speaking of travellers, Arya, Gendry and Hot Pie are unfortunately already on their own tedious journey after escaping Harrenhal. They are surprised to meet Jaqen H'ghar who offers to take Arya with him to Braavos, where she can learn the skills of killing he has and find a way to kill those on her list. However, she refuses, wanting to be reunited with her family. Jaqen gives her a silver coin and the words "Valar Morghulis", telling her to speak them to any man from Braavos should she ever need to find him again. Jaqen bids Arya farewell and departs, changing his face to that of a different man as he leaves.

While I'm sure will be seeing the mysterious Jaqen again, it seems for now that he, and any interesting storyline for Arya, have moved on. I'm interested to see where they are headed, and can only hope they get there soon, or that something mildly interesting happens to them along the way. Perhaps the time to start up a relationship between Arya and Gendry?

Daenerys finally arrives at the House of the Undying as we all knew she would when she first meet Pyat Pree five episodes ago. Her arrival there, thankfully, provided some of her most entertaining scenes of this season, including walking through the snowy, ruined throne room of King's Landing,  and a tent with Khal Drogo, and what would have been her infant son Rhaego. Both of which where magical illusions created by Pree. When she eventually finds her dragan, Pyat Pree appears and tells her that she and her dragons are the source of their magic and that they make each other stronger. He then proceeds to chain her up alongside her dragons. Before he can complete this however Daenerys commands her dragons, and they shoot flames at Pree, who catches on fire and is burned alive. Daenerys returns to Qarth to confront Xaro, who betrayed her. She finds him asleep in bed with her Dothraki handmaiden, Doreah, who she thought killed during her dragons abduction. She takes them to Xaro's fault, which he had previously claimed had untold riches inside, but which they find empty. Daenerys then locks the pair of them in the fault, leaving them to starve to death. Jorah Mormont tells Daenerys that that could possibly salvage enough of Xaro's belongings in order to acquire a small ship.

I'm glad we can all move on now Dany, and please, please, please, no more season long journeys! For Daenerys or any of the characters. She better find a boat soon is all I can say.

Beyond the Wall, Qhorin Halfhand takes his ingenious plan to get the wildlings to trust Jon to a ridicoulous level. He grabs a swords, fights with Jon, yelling obstencities all the while, until Jon kills him. The man sure knows how to die for a cause. Impressed, the Lord of Bones cuts Jon free and Ygritte shows him their vast army, gathering in a valley below with a promise to take him to their King Beyond the Wall, Mance Rayder.

At least this season long journey looks like it's going to pay off, it's going to be really interesting to see how the wildlings live, and even more so how Jon is going to survive among them. I'm sure Ygritte will be more than willing to give him a helping hand if you know what I mean...

Back at the Fist of the First Men, Sam, Grenn and Edd hear three horn blasts; the warning call for White Walkers. They flee, but Sam is left behind, caught in a sudden blizzard. Seeing shadowy figures moving through the snow, Sam hides behind a rock and watches as undead warriors walk past him, led by a fearsome White Walker mounted on a horse. Sam cowers, but the Walker ignores him and orders its army, to advance on the Fist.

Zombies? It was cool and all, but I'm not too sure how much magic I can take from Game of Thrones, particularly when where already dealing with smoke monsters and men who can change their faces. Still, it was one hell of a foreboding way to end the season.

Rating: 3.5/5

Supernatural Season 7 Final Recap & Review (7.23: Survival of the Fittest)

I was interested to see how the conversation between Dick and Crowley would go, but it wasn't all that exciting. Naturally, Crowley accepted Dick's deal and betrayed Sam and Dean, but the scenes in which Dick and Crowley go over their contract were tedious and unfunny.

A reluctant and deadpan humorous Castiel got boring the instant it started last episode, and when always accompanied with the whining droll that is Meg... well, the pair of them are just plain annoying.

Some of the most entertaining parts of the season were the revelations of Dick's plans, and the one discovered in this episode was one of the best. The idea to use an additive to breed out undesired characteristics in humans was a good one, and one that further upped the stakes for Sam and Dean to save the world. Kevin's importance in the grand scheme of things as a Prophet is also interesting, especially since both Crowley and Dick wanted him for themselves, so that should be interesting to develop next season.

I enjoyed see Bobby as a vengeful spirit, but was disappointed that we didn't get to see more of it. The development of his change of character only really occurred in the last couple of episodes, and it was nothing all that exciting, just broken glass and such. I wish the writers would have pushed the boundaries further with him going dark, possessing more people, perhaps getting them killed, hurting Sam and Dean etc. that would have been really interesting, and we got a little bit of an insight into that in this episode, but it's looks like that's as far as it will go. That being said, I hope the writers don't bring Bobby back. Characters on shows like Supernatural constantly defy death by some magical means or loophole, but that significantly diminishes the impact the death of a character can have on audiences when one occurs. They already killed Bobby and brought him back as a ghost, to do it again would further discredit the finality of death. Plus it would make all those, Sam and Dean mourn Bobby episodes of this season completely unnecessary and irrelevant.

The episode seemed somewhat subdued and anti-climatic. Sam and Dean's retrieval of the items necessary to kill Dick, the blessed bone and Crowley's blood, was surprisingly easy, and while Dick through a spanner in the works my using the original Dick Romans arm to create two more Dick doppelgangers, Castiel would conveniently see through this disguise, not only allowing Sam and Dean's job easier, but forcing him into the action. Nonetheless, the scenes in which Sam, Dean, Meg and Castiel storm Sucrocorp were enthralling, especially the return of the Impala, and the amazing distraction it was used for. Dick was very easy to find and kill though, and Sam found Kevin easy, and no one really got hurt. As Crowley noted, which highlights why the episode could be deemed as a letdown, Dick may be dead, but now the leviathans are just another monster without their leader. The leviathan threat is still present, and at full capacity. Not only that, but with Castiel and Dean separated from Sam, and Meg and Kevin in Crowley's possession, they've been set back a long way in defeating them.

The cliffhanger ending, Dean and Castiel being transported to purgatory, was a surprising albeit slightly used one. The Winchesters have already been to heaven and hell many times, so why not purgatory too right?

It's always interesting to see a major dynamic change within a series, and this season ensured us that at the beginning of the next one, that would have well and truly occurred. But Supernatural has done this bother, and it doesn't often take long for episodes to fall back into the bland standard monster-of-week formula, so it will be interesting to see how long things will remained changed for. Plus, with the leviathans still at full force, Crowley making moves, and the Alpha Vampire still hanging around somewhere it will be interesting to see how all these villains are handled, whether there are too many or if they're possibly getting to worn for writers to handle, or whether will be getting some entirely new evil next season.

Rating 3/5

Californication Season 5 Final Recap & Review (5.12: Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be)

Hank arrives at Karen's house and Bates greets him at the door. He tells Bates that either he has to tell Karen about letting his sponsor give him a blow job of Hank will. Bates tells her he needs to be free and that their marriage is over, and surprisingly she is relieved. Before he leaves, Bates tells Hank and Karen their is still love between them, and that Hank needs to stop using his shenanigans as a way at keeping her at arms length because he is afraid. As soon as Bates leaves, they have sex.

In bed, Hank suggests they back their bags and leave, and Karen tells him than rather than always running, he should stay there in the house with her, and wait and see what happens.

Later Hank meets with Becca, and she tells him that he has to let her make her own mistakes, and that after Tyler apologised for his behaviour she forgave him, they made love, and are now engaged. Hank is violently sick upon hearing this, but Becca tells him that just because they're engaged, it doesn't been they'll be getting married anytime soon.

At Charlie's house, Marcie tells him that Lizzie quit, and that she knows about Stu and Lizzie. Charlie is relieved and tells her he was having a trouble keeping it a secret, but she didn't actually know and tricked him to see if it was true or not. Distraught, Marcie goes to confront Stu at the studio. Saying that she is too upset too drive, Charlie offers to take her.

Hank arrives at the studio to talk too Tyler, and Stu reveals that Tyler is missing, and that Samurai has locked himself in his trailer because he has a bug up his arse about Tyler. Hank goes to talk to Samurai in his trailer, and tells him that after offering Callie a part in the film that she told him she didn't love him, and that she slept with Tyler the previous night. He tells Hank, while waving a gun around, that he now has to kill Tyler, and Hank tells him he has to let it go. He convinces Samurai to come out of his trailer and continue filming, and Hank tells Tyler that he just saved his life and as reimbursement, he wants Tyler to resend his marriage proposal to Becca and leave her alone.

Filming resumes, but when Samurai sees Tyler flirting with Callie, he pulls a gun out on him. Hank intervenes telling Samurai that he'll have to shoot him first to get to Tyler, and that he also slept with Callie. Charlie and Marcie pull up, and as Samurai goes to fire the gun at Hank, Charlie jumps in front of it, and he is shot in the arm. Marcie grabs the gun out of Samurai's hand and pistol whips Stu, telling him he'll be hearing from her divorce attorney. Callie tells Samurai that him shooting someone for her is the most single romantic thing anyone has done for her, and the pair embrace. Karen rings Hank to confirm their dinner, and asks him to get some wine.

Hank returns to Charlie's house where he finds Carrie waiting for him. She tells him she lost her job and that she's been having difficulty finding one in L.A so she thought she'd look Hank up. He says he has to leave and she asks him what Karen has that she doesn't, and if Hank ever loved her. Hank refuses to sleep with her and agrees to one drink, which he sulks. Carrie stumbles, and reveals that she shouldn't be drinking while taking the anti-depressants she's on - since Hank dumped her. Hank tries to call an ambulance, and asks her to tell him how much she has taken, to which she replies that she's taken no more than him. As he falls on to the couch Carrie tells him it'll look like they we're in love with each other when they're found together, and Hank imagines running onto Karen's front lawn on a sunny day and embracing Karen and Becca before passing out.

This episode surprised me, obviously all of the secrets that have been developing season-long had to be revealed, but I was quite entertained by the way some of them were handled, not what I would have expected, which is always good. Of course Bates is gone so now Karen and Hank can be together. Honestly, I'm no longer invested in their relationship, Karen should know better. As much as I hate Tyler, I think he plays against Hank quite well, and their scenes together are always interesting, and I like how he is compared and contrasted with a young Hank. I think he'll be back next season, there's no way he'd listen to Hank. It looks like Stu might be done for too, wish I don't know how I feel about, if Hank and Karen and Charlie and Marcie get back together it is going to make me appreiate the seasons in which they had other temporary partners less and less. I doubt Lizzie will be around much longer, and I don't expect to see Samauri or Callie again. But then there's Carrie, hopefully she dies, because to be honest, I was annoyed when she showed up earlier this season as the crazy girlfriend, and was surprise she was written out so quickly, but I guess I shouldn't have spoken so soon... Oh well, she certainly provided one hell of a cliffhanger.
Rating: 3.5/5

Happy Endings Season 2 Final Recap & Review (2.22: KickBall 2: The Kickening)

Crazy Alex signs the gang up for a kickball competition in order to advertise her store, Xela, and you know when an episode of Happy Endings starts off with everyone agreeing with the shows most bizarre and painfully ignorant character that a high amount of ridiculousness is going to ensue.

Of course, hyper-competitive Jane has already signed up with another team, South side Kaz's Auto body Shop, spurring her sibling rivalry with Alex. They replace her with Scott, who is high on steroids.

Poor Dave, once again the butt of everyone's jokes because of his inability to be good at anything, this time because of a previous kickball incident in which he hit Penny in the face, resulting in jips. He tells Max that the elderly Chinese woman pitching know his game plan.

The gang talk big about loyalty to Jane when they meet Kaz's Auto body Shop team in the semi-finals, before replacing Dave with Chicago Bears line-backer Lance Briggs. Jane pitches Alex out, and they lose, but later Jane reveals they're meeting Ivanoc Nail Salon in the championship final, after Kaz's Auto body shop were disqualified for corking their sneakers with metal.

Naturally, Scotty suffers a serious injury when Max taps him on the back, forcing Dave to play. Dave kicks the ball, and running to the next base, it hits Penny in the face. It bounces off and Ivanoc's Russian captain catches the ball, winning them the game. Xela celebrate Dave overcoming his nerves, as Penny lies crying on the ground.

Compared to last week's episode Four Weddings and a Funeral (Minus Three Weddings and One Funeral, this episode left a lot to be desired in terms of a season final. While we got to see the gang all together, which is generally when sitcoms have their best episodes, the kickball theme was overplayed and over the top.

Quote of the episode:

Kickball Commentator: 'In my thirty-six hours of covering kickball folks I've never seen anything so confusing.'

Rating 2.5/ 5

The Big Bang Thoery Season 5 Final Recap & Review (5.24: The Countdown Reflection)

I love the fact that Howard is achieving one of his biggest dreams, yet he is so afraid to do it at the same time. It shows some depth to his character, and with him marrying Bernadette in this episode as well, he's come a long way. The scene where he gives her a star necklace is touching, but simultaneously crude as he asks her 'Close your eyes. Put out your hand I got you something special', to which she replies 'Come on, Howard, I'm not falling for that again.' Ewww!

I can't say I cared for the retelling of the wedding once Howard was already in the spaceship, but I guess the writers thought it might have been a good way to hook viewers at the beginning of the episode, despite the fact it was painfully obvious they were getting married in the episode.

I loved that Amy wore her bridesmaid dress and tiara to city hall, but I'm not so sure how much of Amy I will be able to handle as she continues to try and change the relationship her and Sheldon share. Thus far it's been amusing, but how long until Amy says enough is enough? Or the even worse possibly, how long until she changes our beloved Sheldon? Sheldon grabbing Amy's hand at the end of the episode as Howard's rocket went into space was a little of enough gesture for me to breathe easy that the writers aren't going to go too fast with this, and that Sheldon will remain as he is.

I'm annoyed Leonard and Penny have hit their rough patch already. And they're fighting over exactly the same thing that broke them up last time, Leonard being too emotionally ready, while Penny in emotionally stunned! I mean, we had to deal with all this two seasons ago, why must we go through the exact same thing again? Hopefully this is cleared up soon, and next season the writers can try and do something different with the couple.

The fact that the entire gang became ordained ministers to oversee the marriage was cliched and full of sentimentality, but what are you going to do, it's a sitcom wedding, that's what they are. I did love everyone's speeches however, similarly touching and amusing.

I was wondering how they were going to incorporate Mrs. Wolowitz into the wedding without her being seen. Having her sitting so far away was a lame idea in my opinion, surely they could have come up with something better?

It's very much a bummer feeling constantly bad for Raj, and to be honest, I'm sort of dreading the disillusion of his bromance with Howard now that he's married to Bernedtte. I always was a little annoyed that we never actually got to see too much of just Raj and Howard just hanging out together, instead we were given constant homosexual jokes about their relationship.

Overall, a pretty standard season final, but it most definitely felt like the closing of a chapter, and next season each of the three main couples will be in interesting stages of their relationships. I'm hoping writers are able to keep the dynamics of the couples, and their context within the group, fresh and interesting. And while they're at it, give Raj something to do.

Rating: 3/5

The Walking Dead Season 2 Final Recap & Review (2.13: Beside The Dying Fire)

The first half of the episode is non-stop action as a herd of Walkers, having been following a helicopter, are distracted by Carl's gunshot, and follow the sound to a clearing where Rick and Carl are returning to the farmhouse after Shane's death and transition into a Walker.

Daryl and Glenn return to the house and tell the others that Randall had turned into a Walker, despite the fact he was killed by having his neck snapped, and not bitten or scratched by another Walker. They soon spot the herd of Walkers approaching the farm and decide to use their vehicles to try and lead the Walkers away, despite how large the herd is. Lori goes into her 'I won't leave without my child!' spiel. Calm down, Carol, we only had to listen to this for three quarters of the second season after all.

Meanwhile, surmising that they won't make it to the farm, Rick and Carl hide inside the barn, and Rick douses the ground in gasoline. Rick hands Carl a lighter and sends him up to the hayloft before opening the doors. As Walkers pour in, Rick hurries up the ladder and Carl drops the lighter. The barn bursts into flames.

With Daryl on his motorcycle, Jimmy in Dale's RV, Andrea and T-Dog in Otis's truck, and Glenn and Maggie in Shane's SUV the group drives towards the walkers starting to mill at the fence surrounding the barn. They drive past continuously, shooting as many as they can. Noticing the fire, Daryl sends Jimmy with the RV to pick up whoever starting it, believing it to be either Rick or Shane. Rick and Carl jump on the RVs rooftop as walkers surround the vehicle. The walkers break inside and tear Jimmy apart, while Rick and Carl run. So begins the culling of unnecessary secondary characters introduced this season.

Back at the farm the others realise there is too many Walkers and that they must run, Lori is persistent to stay and find Carl, but Carol convince her to leave with her, Beth and Patricia. Hershel, who is shooting from the front of the farm, doesn't hear the women screaming for him, and continue culling the oncoming walkers. As they run, walkers grab Patricia and rip into her throat, Beth is stunned, and Lori must pull her away. Up ahead, Carol, too, has become surrounded by walkers. Andrea and T-Dog arrive in Otis's truck and Lori and Beth hop in, while Andrea hops out too help Carol. Andrea shoots two of the walkers surrounding Carol dead before a third walker attacks her from behind. She spins around and fires. From Otis's truck, Lori, Beth and T-Dog see the walker fall on Andrea. Walkers swarm the truck and T-Dog drives away, while Carol has vanished.

Elsewhere, Glenn and Maggie find their car surrounded too, and are forced to leave the farm. Back at the house, Hershel continues to fend off walkers (so what do you know, he doesn't die). Rick arrives and convinces him it's time to leave. Along with Carl, they escape in Hershel's SUV. Andrea, unhurt, tries to flag Rick down as he drives away, but he doesn't notice her. She flees on foot with the bag of guns. Daryl rescues Carol on his motorcycle, and they ride away. The barn continues to burn and eventually collapses as the RV is destroyed.

Other then some continuity issues with the logistics of everyone location, there were several instances in which characters would be directly next to each other, and two second later be separated by the farm, these scenes were fast-paced and enthralling entertainment.

I was a little disappointed that having the group separated into smaller groups didn't last a bit longer. I always love it when television shows change the dynamics between the characters. For example, I would have loved to see more of just Lori, Beth and T-Dog travelling in Otis's pickup together, but alas it was not to be. That being said, kudos has to be given to the logic of all of these characters, they never discussed where they should meet if something happened, but they were all smart enough to return to the highway where they left supplies for Sophia earlier that season. Accept for poor Andrea, who has been running all night from walkers, and is now out of ammunition. A walker topples her, but before it can bite her its head is sliced off. As the walker's body slumps over, Andrea sees standing before her a hooded stranger wielding a samurai sword and two jaw less and armless walkers chained at the neck with shackles.

Later, the other survivors caravan down a country road. Hershel's SUV runs out of gas. Rick declares they'll camp by the road and scavenge in the morning, but the others doubt him. From here, there are revelations abound, mostly because Rick seems to have gone off the deep end and just can't keep his mouth shut. He reveals that Jenner told him they are all infected with the walker virus, so when they die, they will come back. The others are furious at him for keeping it a secret. And Rick reveals that he was doing what he thought was best for them, which including killing Shane. Carol and Maggie express they are eager to leave the group, and rick tells them they're most welcome to try and get by by themselves and to see how'd they do. No one leaves and he tells them the group isn't a democracy anymore. In the distance, a large structure looms; a prison.

While there's plenty of plot threads to keep audiences eagerly awaiting next season, including the hooded figure and the prison, it's the character development I'm most excited about. Rick's transition from reluctant hero to ruthless dictator has been a swift one, and we are yet to see the full repercussions. It will be interesting to see what he is willing to do, if he will further transgress into a Shane like character, and even more interesting how the group of survivors will react to his new leadership strategy.

Rating: 4/5