Oh my god, Pam, what have you done? What a bizarre thing for the writers to do, have a fan favourite character save the life of a universally dispised one. Oh well, it made for good television. Pam was hilariously sarcastic as usual, and I'm glad now that her relationship with Eric is tense that she'll be able to act the smart-ass towards a whole lot of other characters. Lafayette was all maniac depressive, so much so that he cut off all of his hair! Now that there won't be a new do to check out every week what's the point in watching? And someone needs to make a gif of him doing the googly-eyed stare down at Alcide, stat. The most surprising of all though was Sookie... acting like a heroine! I never thought I'd see the day, but there she was cutting up bodies and telling Lafayette how she killed Debbie because she could. Sookie's becoming one tough cookie, and I hope the writers continue to develop her darker side. Speaking of darker sides, just when we all though missing one side of your skull was a mortal wound, there's Tara, vamping it up, and looking at Sookie for her first meal. Looks like these characters will be having an entertaining season. Although I've always hated Tara, hopefully her transition into vampire will invigorate her character. And Sookie and Lafayette, not only will they have to deal with their undead friend, but are going to have a hard time explaining the disappearance of the dead Debbie and Jesus. Covering up murders is always fun.
Meanwhile, Bill and Eric tried to cover their own trails after killing Nan and several Authority guards, but they didn't last very long at all. Since when have the Authority been so quick response wise? I thought it was all political discussions and power struggles from what we've seen/ heard so far on True Blood, but hey it looks like they are actually doing something now. Not that they're doing it well. Eric's 'sister' Nora, a high ranking member of the Authority, is secretly a a part of a group who disagrees with the way things are being run and helps them to escape. She tells them she's willing to help them, but that they must leave their old lives behind, or they'll all experience the true death. Oh Nora, this isn't going to end well for you. She also has sex with Eric. Just as things look like their going well for the mismatched vampires the Authority strikes again. Bets on how long until they escape this time? While I detest the not funny banter Bill and Eric share, their storyline this season holds the most promise: The Authority, Russell's return etc.
Everything else on this season of True Blood however, looks a bit glum. Steve Newlin is not only a vampire now but is gay. Haven't we been here before? He also wants Jason bad, but Jessica stops him. In that sexy little red riding hood lingerie that worked so well in the season four final. They have sex, but no, this does not mean they're back together. Because Jessica has to be the rebellious teen and invite a whole bunch generic college douchebags and sluts over to her Dad's expensive mansion while he's away. And play singstar. One of them suggests Jessica goes to college (I smell a spin-off!). A love sick Jason crashes the party and is crushed when Jessica starts getting cosy with one of the douches. As every normal man would do, he picks up a drunk hot chick to ease his pain... a part from Jason doesn't because he's growing as a character or something. Good on him, but I still don't care. He's dumb, and always painful to watch, whether he's a nice guy or a womaniser. Besides, one could see why he's trying to do the right thing, when his best buddy Hoyt hates him ever so much for sleeping with Jessica. Him and all of his friends, who no one has ever seen or heard of before, makes Jason feel down at Merlotte's by calling him 'girlfriend fucker'. How is that not more offensive to Hoyt? Regardless, Hoyt needs to grow up.
As does Andy Bellefleur. The Bon Temps Sheriff not only is awoken by two teenage boys, after sleeping with their mother Holly, on their couch, but then he receives a bribe from some very respectable, read cocky rich guy, to make a speeding fine disappear. I don't care, and it hasn't even turned into a storyline yet.
The same can be said for Terry's old friend Patrick, also a former U.S marine. Terry was acting all weird and is eye was twitching which was exciting, because Terry is usually extremely laid back and boring. But then there was all this talk about the past (please no flashbacks), fires (how suspicious), and something horrible that happened back in Iraq (war subplots are the worst). Don't look forward to this one.
Speaking of characters with bad subplots, Sam was also around, being kidnapped by Marcus's wolf pack and forcing him to tell them where Marcus's body is so that they can turn into wolves and eat him, naturally. Luna calls upon Alcide to help them and I guess well see where that goes but... meh.
So as usual a couple of good main storylines followed by a never-ending string of unnecessarily bad ones. And no Russell yet? Shame on you True Blood, for stringing us along.
Rating: 3/5
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